Last night the US Air Force Launched their secret rocket.  Nonetheless the internet and news sites are streaming this public launch all over the internet leaving little hope to US civilians as to the competency of the US Air Force.  The Air Force is no different then the gossip girl in middle school that swears she can keep a secret, then before you know it there’s a song about your ‘secret’ crush on youtube.

Okay so the real secret behind the Secret Rocket is the mission.  In a Conference Call, Gary Payton (thankfully not the former NBA player known as the Glove) stated “In all honesty, we don’t know when it’s coming back for sure.”  Oh well that’s fan-faking-tastic Gary!  The US Air Force spends about a Ba-jazillion taxpayer dollars on this penis shaped rocket and they don’t even know when it’s coming back? 

Sounds like too many senators got high while watching Star Wars:

Joe - “Larry, you know what would be bad-ass?”

Larry- “What Joe?

Joe - “If we like totally built a spaceship, you know to go into space and like hunt down the Darth dude or whatever…”

Larry - “Hells yeah bro, we would just have to keep the mission a secret or the non Star Wards geeks and Non-trekies would get all sorts of bent out of shape.”

Joe- “Agreed, pass the joint man, also I have a question for you… when we travel why do you always have to take such long dumps?”

Larry - “Oh yeah, lets not ask questions we don’t want to the know the answer to… Just pass the joint.”

The only certain thing about this rocket is that Star Wars and Trekkies are currently jizzing in their pants at the mere thought of their space fantasies becoming reality.